Sunday, October 12, 2008

My Award Winning Short Story

This story was written for a contest with the Pasadena Public Library.  It won second prize in the 4-6 grade category.

Race Against Time

Ten year old Malli was desperate to go outside.  After watching her three little brothers, Eric, Max, and Mason, Malli was going to lose it.  It had been a complete disaster.  First, Eric was throwing his toy boat and broke her mom's favorate vase.  Then, Max tripped over Mason and Mason had been crying nonstop ever since.

Malli sighed a sigh of relief as her mom's car pulled into the driveway.  As Mallis' mom stepped into the house, Malli handed her Mason, who then stopped crying.  Then she headed out the door.  Malli lived in a small town in Maine near a peat bog.  This is where she was heading.

Malli hurried over the bridge to the peat bog.   Malli really like this trail because it was very green and had lots of interesting plants.  Malli liked to take pictures with her camera.  She carried it in the bag her mom insisted she take with her.

Today she was headed for the beach at the end of the trail.  Malli reached the begining of the trail.  Even though it was only about a three minute walk, she felt like it took forever to get away from all the noise of her brothers.
She started hiking.  Taking a deep breath, Malli smelled wonderful smells.  Fresh moss, pine trees, salt air, all of it very relaxing.  Off in the distance an occasional seafull cried.  Except for that, all was silent.  Malli stopped when she saw a berry that was picture perfect and took a picture.

A little while later, Malli saw what looked like moose tracks.  The peat bog was full of weird things.  She saw rocks tht were completely covered by moss.  It was strange to walk on ground that was both soggy and solid at the same time.  On the side of the trail she saw a cup-shaped plant, callled a pitcher plant.  The plant ate flies!

Malli soon emerged from the trees. Long fingers of granite stretched out into the cold swirling Atlantic Ocean.  Mallie quickly crossed onto the granite and saw seals playing in the distance.  She carefully jumped from rock to rock, moving farther away from the shore.

Then Malli came to a dip in the rock.  The rocks here were coated in slippery, green seaweed that would be under water at high tide.  Slowly, so not to trip, Malli crossed the seaweed to the rock on the other side and climber up.   She sat down to watch the seals play.

The seals were flipping and diving and the longer she sat there the closer they seals came until one swam right up to her.  More seals cam and Malli even counted three cubs. The cubs started barking and splashing.

An hour later, Malli realized she better start heading home or she might get stuck in a mud hole.

She walked back across the granite.  When Malli reached one of the dips she had crossed earlier, she had to jump across it because it was now full of water.  The tide had come in while she was watching the seals.  She was starting to get worried, because if the tide came too fast, she would not be able to cross the seaweed patch she had crossed earlier.  Malli hurried on.

At the next dip, Malli jumped over the cold water that now filled it.  As she jumped, her foot missed its target and she fell.  As she fell she ripped her pants and scraped her knee.  She had not been focusing!  Malli was worried now because the tide was coming in very fast.  She knew that with her scraped knee she would not be able to make it to the seaweed patch before the tide.  

Mallie stumbled slowly to the seaweed patch, her knee aching.  She was right!  It was full of icy  water.  The water was now five feet deep.  Deeper than Malli was tall.  She was cut off from the land!  She looked at it and estimated that the gap was about five feet wide.  She thought she could maybe jump that far, but she wasn't sure.  While she was hesitating, the water sloshed up on the rock on the other side, make it very wet and slippery.  Malli knew she wouldn't be able to jump.

Malli sat down and thought.  Then she began rummaging through the pack her mother insisted she always take with her on her hikes.  In it was a water bottle, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a rope and her camera.  All useless!  At least she could take eat her sandwich.

It would be dark soon.  She couldn't wait for the tide to go back out.  Her family would really worry about her.

She looked around and realized there was nothing in the ocean that could help her.  Then her head jerked back to her pack.  She had rope!  She started making a plan.

Maybe she could make a lasso?  She looked around until she spotted a piece of driftwood.  She thought, if I can just get my rope around that, then maybe I can use it as a bridge.

She tied a loop in her rope and threw it.  The rope fell short.  If she wasn't careful, she could end up knocking it into the water.  Malli tried again.  This time the rope almost circled it, but missed again.  She hoped that the third time would be lucky for her.  Malli concentrrated very hard, focusing on the wood she threw the rope.  She circled it!  Carefully she pulled it in.

Malli lay the driftwood across the gap.  If fit perfectly!  Slowly she stepped onto the driftwood and walked across.  As she stepped onto the rock on the other side, the stick fell into the water and was washed away.

She hurried back to the trail, wanting to get home before dark.  She hiked back through the peat bog, across the bridge and into her own back yard, right before dark.

Her mother had been starting to get worried, so when Malli crashed through the back door muddy and wet, her mother gave a cry of joy.  She gave her a big hug.  Malli felt warm and comfortable and was glad to be home safe and sound.  She thought, maybe screaming brothers aren't that bad after all.

5 comments:

Chelsea said...

Addison, I really like your story. Keep up the good work!

Serena Potter said...

Wow, that is an excellent story. I think it should have been first place! Having been to Maine, I could picture it all.

amanda jane said...

very impressive Addison. we know big things are instore for you, little lady. congratulations!

Nicole Hernandez said...

Great story Addison! Congratulations on your win.

Anonymous said...

I was really worried she wouldn't make it. You made it very suspensful. Thanks for the good read!